My understanding of the root of “bisexual” is bi/two as in attraction to 1) people of my gender and 2) people of not my gender. Ie the homo and the hetero.
Which is why I will say I am technically bisexual if pressed, and I think a lot of dykes are too. It’s not a term I really use for myself but it I am attracted to people (mostly other dykes) who claim a variety of terms for their gender identities, and the best term for my gender I’ve ever come up with is “butch dyke”, so. (If it looks like I’m conflating identity and presentation, this is how it works for me.)
But tbh I have just reread this back to myself and realised that by my own logic, if I were exclusively attracted to people who were *not* other butch dykes, then I could identify as heterosexual. And I don’t really know what to make of that. I still stand by the hetero + homo = two (bi) modes of attraction, rather than attracted to two genders, though.
I was very interested in the middle-aged women question, and as a newer reader, I hadn’t read the article you wrote, so I went straight to it! I agree that one could easily go “something something mommy issues” and call it a day, and one would probably be 85% of the way there honestly, but there’s likely more going on.
I find it interesting that sapphics pick more “alternative” middle-aged celebrity women, like you mentioned, but they’re not really…groundbreaking, truly? Mostly thin and white, maybe not the most popular actresses for sex appeal to straight audiences but still non-threatening enough that they’re getting work, you know? There’s an illusion of progressiveness of sexual proclivity.
Part of me wants to be optimistic and theorize that for some, the MIlF thing is actually a way to see themselves in the future; I know for many queer people, it’s hard to imagine a full lifespan because we don’t get as many models for a fully lived life. Perhaps the attraction is partially aspirational? You don’t stay young and inexperienced forever!
yeah i think your point about the MILF obsession and the illusion of progressiveness is interesting – it's nice that people are supporting older or middle-aged women, but the to the original question asker's point, it doesn't always seem like that translates to older women IRL.
My understanding of the root of “bisexual” is bi/two as in attraction to 1) people of my gender and 2) people of not my gender. Ie the homo and the hetero.
Which is why I will say I am technically bisexual if pressed, and I think a lot of dykes are too. It’s not a term I really use for myself but it I am attracted to people (mostly other dykes) who claim a variety of terms for their gender identities, and the best term for my gender I’ve ever come up with is “butch dyke”, so. (If it looks like I’m conflating identity and presentation, this is how it works for me.)
But tbh I have just reread this back to myself and realised that by my own logic, if I were exclusively attracted to people who were *not* other butch dykes, then I could identify as heterosexual. And I don’t really know what to make of that. I still stand by the hetero + homo = two (bi) modes of attraction, rather than attracted to two genders, though.
good point! it’s all very complicated
I was very interested in the middle-aged women question, and as a newer reader, I hadn’t read the article you wrote, so I went straight to it! I agree that one could easily go “something something mommy issues” and call it a day, and one would probably be 85% of the way there honestly, but there’s likely more going on.
I find it interesting that sapphics pick more “alternative” middle-aged celebrity women, like you mentioned, but they’re not really…groundbreaking, truly? Mostly thin and white, maybe not the most popular actresses for sex appeal to straight audiences but still non-threatening enough that they’re getting work, you know? There’s an illusion of progressiveness of sexual proclivity.
Part of me wants to be optimistic and theorize that for some, the MIlF thing is actually a way to see themselves in the future; I know for many queer people, it’s hard to imagine a full lifespan because we don’t get as many models for a fully lived life. Perhaps the attraction is partially aspirational? You don’t stay young and inexperienced forever!
yeah i think your point about the MILF obsession and the illusion of progressiveness is interesting – it's nice that people are supporting older or middle-aged women, but the to the original question asker's point, it doesn't always seem like that translates to older women IRL.